Helping Your Spouse or Signifcant Other to Transition To Natural Hair WITH You

Over the years, I've had many occasions to see women struggle with the decision to go natural because they didn't know what their spouse or significant other's reaction would be to the change in their hair.  While many women get up in arms about why a man would not accept the woman he loves despite her hairstyle as I've witnessed through many encounters, conversations, and even blog articles like this one and this one, it is a real issue and should be addressed.

So below I'm going to share some tips for helping the man in your life "transition to natural hair" with you.

1.  Communicate - Talk to your man about why you want to go natural before you start your transition.  There are many reasons why we choose to go natural:  relaxers are damaging your hair, chemical processing is expensive, wanting to develop a more healthy lifestyle including going to the gym, just wanting to embrace your natural texture/curiosity.  No matter what it is, share your reasons.  Allow for dialogue so that you can receive his feedback as well.

2. Educate - Those who who do transition to natural hair often go through some education process about natural hair, how to care for it, maintain it, and style it.  Share some of this information with your husband/boyfriend as well.  I'm not saying drag him to a natural hair meetup or teach him about every natural hair product line on the market, but do share general information about natural hair with him. This will be especially helpful when you start using natural hair lingo like big chop, two strand twist, braid out, etc.

3. Get his input on styling options - Allow him to look at some of the styles on the Taji Natural Hair Styling gallery, Youtube, or even point out styles on natural haired women you see while you guys are out and about.  Ask for his input.  Though every style looks a little different with each hair texture and individual, you will have an idea as to what his preferences are. 

4. Exposure - This is one thing that you might not have to create.  Fortunately, there are many women who are going natural.  Usually what is seen in the masses is more easily accepted by the masses.  There are black and multiracial women seen on television shows, tv and print advertising, on billboards, in music videos and in society in general.  As you make him more aware of natural hair through your conversations, he will also be more aware of natural hair in his surroundings.

If your husband/boyfriend is not initially supportive about your decision to transition from relaxed to natural hair, these steps should at least help him to see things from your perspective.  Hopefully, he will appreciate your efforts to include him  and make him a part of your decision.

Natural Hair & Dating

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I recently read the this article in Madame Noire, which is an online black lifestyle guide.  The title of the article was Does Your Hair Play a Part In the Way Men Approach You? (click the link to read the article).  The article discusses how the pick up lines change based on the fact that the author was natural.  Instead of the typical "Hey, ma!"  or "Hey, shawty!" The pick up lines were more in reference to your hair, "I love your fro."  Her premise is that though the lines appear to be more respectful, they were still pick up lines none the less.  My personal opinion:  A pick up line is what it is, a way to get a subject (whether male or female) to drop their guard long enough to get to know more about them.  I would prefer a more respectful pick up line than a disrespectful one any day.  (insert shoulder shrug)

However, I would like to expand more on the topic of dating and natural hair.  How have your romantic interactions been now that you are natural?  Do you feel that you are approached more or less?  Do you (as a woman) find yourself more open to men who wear locs or an afro?  For our men, do you find yourself more attracted to natural haired women?  Why?  What has changed (for both men & women)?

 While you're thinking about your comments, check out this funny Youtube video about some of the stereotypes that are associated with dating a natural haired woman.  Leave a comment below!!!